Why Severus Snape Would Make a Great Therapist

“Severus Snape” by GENZOMAN (used with permission).

Ol’ Severus gets a bit of a bad rap in the Harry Potter books. Maybe it’s the way he bullies any student who’s not in Slytherin, or his former status as a Death Eater, or just his scathingly sarcastic personality. However, there’s far more to Severus Snape than first appears.

While Snape may not have the sensitive bedside manner of most professional counselors, he does have many other qualities that suit him for such a role. Here are 10 reasons why Sev would make a fantastic therapist:

1. He’s not afraid to tell you the hard truths:
“It may have escaped your notice, but life isn’t fair.” —Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (film)

2. As an accomplished Potions master, he’s sure to have something helpful. Need a little Veritaserum to fix compulsory lying? Maybe Draught of Living Death to cure some insomnia? Snape’s got you covered.

3. Snape sympathizes with your problems, even if he can’t fix them.
“Unless you wish to poison him—and I assure you, I would have the greatest sympathy if you did—I cannot help you.” —Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (film)

4. His speeches, especially to first-year students, have been known to inspire greatness.
“Hermione Granger was on the edge of her seat and looked desperate to start proving that she wasn’t a dunderhead.” —Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (book)

5. Snape gets what it’s like to have a rough past. Former Death Eater? Lost the love of your life? Sev knows the struggle.

6. Sev will push you until you get it right, even if he has to use Legilimens a million times.
“Control your emotions. Discipline your mind.” —Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (film)

7. He’s uncannily good at keeping secrets. Just don’t let him put any memories in a Pensieve, or someone might fall in.

8. Snape will help you face awkward situations head-on.
“As though he had read Harry’s mind, however, Snape said, ‘No cloak. You can walk in so that everyone sees you, which is what you wanted, I’m sure.’” —Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (book)

9. If you need to discuss your private issues in a public place, Snape is extremely subtle.
“Well, well, Lupin. Out for a little walk… in the moonlight, are we?” —Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (film)

10. Snape will be there for you—“always.” If your name is Lily, that is.

Caitlin Eha

Caitlin Eha

Staff Writer at Area of Effect magazine
A published writer and aspiring novelist, Caitlin can usually be found with her head in the clouds and her heart in a faraway land. When she isn’t devouring a new favourite book or feverishly writing one of her own, she enjoys archery, cosplaying, jewelry making, and time with her Lord.
Caitlin Eha