Inappropriate Geeky Quotes for a Job Interview

"I am Groot!" | Art by Namecchan. Used with permission.

Can you tell me a little about yourself?

1) I’m Batman.
2) They call me Gato, I have metal joints. Beat me up and win 15 Silver Points.
3) Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V.
4) I am Groot.
5) I am Iningo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to die.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

1) Well there’s always money in the banana stand.
2) Dead. Of Dysentery.
3) Probably killed. By a Zamboni.
4) Well… here. It’s a contract that says when the war is over, all the materia will belong to me.
5) Ah spaghetti. Ah, ravioli. Ahh, mama mia.

How did you hear about the position?

1) Can’t stop the signal.
2) I cannot tell! Suffice to say, is one of the words the Knights of Ni cannot hear!
3) Guy came looking for me. Real Grim Reaper-type. I don’t know. It furthered the plot.
4) I was weak. That’s why I needed you… Needed someone to punish me for my sins… But that’s all over now. I know the truth.
5) I am Groot.

What would you say are your best assets?

1) I can run very fast over short distances.
2) I know kung fu.
3) When 900 years old, you reach… Look as good, you will not.
4) I see dead people.
5) I never give up. I never surrender.

How do you deal with conflict with the workplace?

1) Resistance is futile.
2) Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!
3) Rule #2: Double tap.
4) I am Groot.
5) Nuclear launch detected.

What is your greatest flaw?

1) The difference is my flaws are personal. Yours are professional.
2) I solemnly swear I am up to no good.
3) I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.
4) I’m a warrior, an assassin. I don’t dance.

Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

Kyle Rudge

Kyle Rudge

Admiral at Geekdom House
Kyle is an avid web developer and programmer with a strong tendency to be distracted by marathon watching various television shows. While he loved to write in several languages, most of them are based on 1's and 0's.
Kyle Rudge

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