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Geekiness Types, Symptoms, Causes} ?>
The first sign of geekiness is often a tendency to binge watch sci-fi shows on Netflix or play a video game for longer than 20 minutes at a time. Humming John Williams’ tunes and fantasizing about living in another universe are also known signs. No treatment is available for geekiness. It is not uncommon and must be taken seriously.
Invasive geekiness is geekiness that has spread beyond the occasional movie or board game. Female and male geekiness are both possible. Cosplaying is a rare type of geekiness that requires a certain amount of dedication and creativity to spread throughout body and the soul.
If you suffer from geekiness you may recognize one or more of these symptoms:
- Sore back or neck from rolling into every box and crate you see
- Extreme discomfort moving along the Y-axis (may apply to Doom players)
- Desire to consume/inject any unlabelled medicine found in any unmarked container
- Speaking in a language composed solely of references and quotes
- Waiting for an imaginary ATB bar to fill before making any real life action
- Always using extra salt on your food in case of demons or vampires
- Trying to eat breakfast cereal when there is no spoon
- Choosing to wear gold or blue when anyone else wears red
- Mentally determining the difficulty class of any challenge based on the roll of a D20
- Extreme paranoia that every mentor in your life is really your mortal enemy waiting until you become strong enough to challenge them
- An unfounded certainty that telephone booths are bigger on the inside
- The utterly false belief in cake
- Deep emotional repression of the death of a certain dinosaur-loving pilot who’s totally still alive
- Despite the advice of your loved ones, you find yourself expecting the Spanish Inquisition
- Perpetually late, due to running to the end of every dead end hallway searching for loot
- Hoarding every bottle of glue and loose screw you come across, in case you need them later
- A disturbing lack of faith in hokey old religions
- An inability to get the hang of Thursdays
- A deep mistrust of anything described as a prequel
- Fruitlessly throwing pokeballs at your real pets
The cause of geekiness is unknown, but has been traced back to J.R.R. Tolkien, George Lucas, and Shigeru Miyamoto, among many others.
Complications include people trying to convince you that geekiness is only a child’s disease when in fact it affects both children and adults, creativity spikes, and the desire to blurt out spoilers.
Jason Dueck has joined a support group for his Type Gamer/Podcast geekiness. It’s called His Best Friends.
Allison Barron is afflicted by geekiness so severe it affects all parts of her brain so she is constantly dreaming up new worlds and stories.
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