42 Ways to Say “I Love You” in Geek Feb10

42 Ways to Say “I Love You” in Geek...

It’s the time of year for Love Potions, Heart Pieces, and those three magical words. (No, I’m not talking about “Use the Force” or “Beam me up.”) Whether you’re looking for a geeky way to ask your date out to a video game symphony, or planning to print your affections on a Luvdisc-shaped Valentine’s card, here are 42 ways to say “I love you” in Geek. (Why 42? Because it’s the answer to all mysteries in the universe, of course. And love may be the greatest mystery of them all.) 1. If you were a starter Pokémon, I’d choose you. 2. Are you a fairy? Because you fill all my heart containers. 3. All my base are belong to you. 4. I’d travel there and back again for you. 5. You’re my final fantasy. 6. I’d take an arrow to the knee for you. 7. I-it’s not like a l-like you or a-anything… b-baka—! 8. Be my Beka/Faye/Vincent Valentine. 9. Ruby is red, Neptune is blue, hope I get put on the same team as you. 10. You’re the hero Gotham deserves, and the one I need right now. 11. When I looked in the Mirror of Erised, I saw you. 12. You’re my precious. 13. SoH Dughajbe’bogh jaj rur Hov ghajbe’bogh ram. 14. Hello, Sweetie. 15. You are the center of my mind palace. 16. I know. 17. I’d volunteer as your tribute. 18. You were expecting Dio, but it was me—your Valentine! 19. Without you, who else will I have ice cream with? 20. With you, my life is 20% cooler. 21. *Wookie sounds* 22. You’re my player 2. 23. You fill me with determination. 24. Like a Headcrab, you’re always on my mind. 25. You’re the arc reactor to my heart....

Remember the Duel with Westley Jan16

Remember the Duel with Westley...

“You must be that little Spanish brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago. You’ve been chasing me your whole life only to fail now? I think that’s about the worst thing I’ve ever heard. How marvelous.” Count Rugen’s response to an injured Inigo Montoya, the swordsman looking to avenge his father’s death in The Princess Bride, pained me when I first heard it as a child. Would this horrible man kill Inigo, just as the swordsman was close to achieving his lifelong goal? How unjust! It was difficult for me to watch Inigo, my favourite character in the movie, get stabbed repeatedly by Rugen, the one I most despised. It’s strange for me to think, but I identify quite strongly with Count Rugen. Not the sadistic, child-scarring, torture-inventing aspects to him, but the “Oh, I can’t believe I had such an impact on you” part. Just as Rugen is surprised by discovering that his foe is the boy he “taught a lesson to all those years ago,” I’ve been realizing lately that we all leave impressions—some profoundly strong—on people all around us, whether we intend to or not. The truth is, I have no idea how my words and actions will impact those around me. Unfortunately, just as with Rugen, some of those impacts I’ve made are through actions that are regrettable. As a teenager, I was a relentless bully. I thrived when I could generate laughs at the expense of others, particularly at an overweight classmate. Day after day I would make fat jokes, pushing him down to puff myself up. He and I eventually went to different schools, and when I next saw him, he had lost significant weight. He was also bitter and unwilling to talk to me...

Taking Off the Masks Jun20

Taking Off the Masks

Glasses on, he’s a mild-mannered reporter at the Daily Planet. Glasses off, he’s a Son of Krypton, ready to save the universe. Glasses on, she’s Diana Prince—a sweet, unassuming officer in the US military. Glasses off, she’s Wonder Woman, Princess of the Amazonians. Their glasses serve as masks to hide their secret identities. I love that, for at least these two, the disguises they wear are in their “regular” lives—they take off their “masks” to be the hero that is natural to them, instead of putting one on to become something “other.” Many superheroes wear masks that are important to their survival. Masks allow them to function in regular society so that they can have something of a normal life, gather intel, and protect their loved ones from villains who might seek to hurt or control them. Masks offer protection, boundaries, and retreat. In The Princess Bride, when asked by Fezzik why he wore a mask, Wesley replied, “It’s just that masks are terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.” His answer is a flippant comment to dodge the question, but it is also a truth. Masks are terribly comfortable. Let’s face it (see what I did there?)—we all portray to the world the image that we want seen, the person that we want to be perceived as. Social media makes it so much easier than it used to be… I can create the mask of whatever reality I want to all of my “friends” through pictures, memes, and text, and I never have to step outside or run into another human being to do it. If I wear masks too much, I run the risk of forgetting who I am. Technology has created a myriad of ways for me to mask myself.  I can post things that make me look good, but leave off the things that pain or embarrass me. With online gaming, I can engage people around the world, creating a sense of camaraderie without the necessity of intimacy. With online shopping, I can order everything I need to survive and have it delivered without speaking to a single person. All of these things are amazing and awesome, and to an introvert like myself, really a dream come true!  I can live in almost complete anonymity if I want to. The art of social interaction is dying in many places. People’s feelings are neglected; the consequences of words and actions are  forgotten. People have a tendency to be less concerned about hurting other’s feelings when not communicating face to face. But even after stepping outside to deal with other human beings face-to-face—which I actually do for a living—I continue to wear masks. Sometimes it’s necessary; in dealing with other people’s feelings and grief, I often have to mask mine so I can focus on their pain. When I’m talking with a family who has lost a loved one, or a person suffering with addiction, homelessness, or abuse, I have to keep a strong face on so that I don’t turn into an empathetic puddle next to them. If my child is sick or hurt and I’m worried, I need to hide my fear so that theirs isn’t magnified. There are times when wearing a mask is for the good of others. But, there are also times that I wear one to protect myself. When I choose not to make myself vulnerable, when I don’t like who I am and wish I was someone different, when I don’t feel like I’m good enough, or if I’m afraid of not being accepted in a particular circumstance, I put on that comfortable thing, the face that I am willing to present. Sometimes that mask is self-deprecation—I’m going to make myself a joke before you do. It might look like apathy or laughing off a hurtful comment. I might wear the mask of self-righteousness or defense if...

You didn’t say it, you didn’t do it Jul08

You didn’t say it, you didn’t do it...

The Princess Bride was on TV the other night. No matter what else is happening in my life, if I’m flipping channels and I come across The Princess Bride, that’s as far as I’m going. I have the movie on DVD—I could watch it any time I want—without commercials. But, if I see it on TV, I’m watching it. It was playing in the background while I was working, and while I wasn’t paying 100% attention to it, it didn’t stop me from saying the lines along with the movie. When the wedding scene came on, however, I began to pay attention. It’s hilarious. Everybody knows—and I’m sure Prince Humperdink would have remembered if he wasn’t so rushed and stressed—that this was not a valid marriage. But poor Buttercup was so distraught that she lost sight of this fact. Thankfully, Buttercup has Westley to put it in perspective. It goes like this: Buttercup: Oh, Wesley, will you ever forgive me? You have to know what you’re saying and say it with intention and in freedom. Westley: What hideous sin have you committed lately? Buttercup: I got married. I didn’t want to – it all happened so fast. Westley: Never happened. Buttercup: What? Westely: Never happened. Buttercup: But it did I was there; this old man said ‘man and wife.’ Westley: Did you say ‘I do?’ Buttercup: Um, no…we sort of skipped that part. Westley: Then you’re not married. You didn’t say it; you didn’t do it. If you were married in a church, you were probably subjected to a whole lot of questioning, paperwork, meetings, Pre-Cana sessions and maybe a year’s worth of waiting. Why all the trouble? Because, like Buttercup, people need to know what they’re getting themselves into. No one can be...

80s geek movie remakes we’re waiting for Apr17

80s geek movie remakes we’re waiting for...

There are no shortage of remakes happening these days in the geek culture scene. Robocop, anyone? Some of these movies, the ones done well, are absolutely amazing in introducing a whole new generation to the stories we loved as kids. But when they are done horribly, they are doomed to fade into the pit of obscurity, which there is no redemption from. Robocop, anyone? These are movie remakes we hope will happen. E.T. (1982) – Maybe you can secure funding through an Apple sponsorship by replacing the class Speak ’N Spell with an Apple watch. Dark Crystal (1982) – Mixing puppets and fantasy should be pause for concern, but these gems of obscurity can definitely be re-done beautifully with the right director (ie. not Michael Bay). The Neverending Story (1984) – Yet to our sorrow it ended. Nothing says awesome like Clifford the Giant Luck Dragon. Gremlins (1984) – Maybe this time we can finally learn how the “after midnight” rule is affected by different time zones. Back to the Future (1985) – Come October of this year there’s no more future in the iconic Back to the Future. It’s time to go back… to the future. Flight of the Navigator (1986) – Compliance! Highlander (1986) – Yes it was remade once as a TV show but it is such a solid story. Only problem is the stakes are so high. Remaking Highlander HAS to be great because there can be only one. The Princess Bride (1987) – I know, I know, it stands the test of time. It’s a classic, but an update would be nice. I mean it… Willow (1988) – Warwick Davis will be in Star Wars Episode VII but when was the last time Val Kilmer did anything interesting? Bill & Ted’s...