Putting the “Special” in Holiday

"Jabba the Hutt Christmas Card Star Wars" | Art by McQuade. Used with permission.
There are a few franchises that get away with what Star Wars could not, but here are a few stories that none have attempted (yet).

The Avengers Advent Spectacular

Tony Stark whips up a high-tech light display and turns the Avengers HQ into a Christmas tree for the city. The Hulk and the Black Widow star in a touching remake of The Gift of the Magi where he gives up his superpowers to buy her bullets and she pawns her gun to buy him an ultra-stretchy pair of pants. Captain America complains about how Christmas was better when he was a scrawny kid. When Bucky Barnes shows up, he and Cap sing a sweet duet of The Little Drummer Boy.

And Harvey Korman appears as a cross-dressing intergalactic TV chef.

Battlestar (Christmas) Carol-actica

It’s Christmastime in the fleet and Commander Adama just isn’t feeling the spirit of the season. He’s too focused on feeding and protecting the survivors of the Cylon massacre. Apollo tries to get him to lighten up, but is chased off by Adama’s cries of “Humbug!”

That night, in his quarters, Adama is visited by the ghost of Colonel Tigh, who mysteriously died just in time for the Holiday Special. Tigh warns Adama that he’ll be visited by three specters. In quick succession Adama’s sleep is disturbed by visitations from Gauis Baltar, President Roslin, and Number Six. Just as he’s about to give in and reclaim his Christmas spirit, Adama realizes that it’s a Cylon trick. He finds and destroys the Basestar and proves that grumpiness is a true superpower.

The show ends with Harvey Korman appearing as a cross-dressing intergalactic TV chef.

Doctor Who Christmas Special

The Doctor… wait a minute.  We live in the universe where the Doctor Who Christmas specials are actually a thing. And Harvey Korman doesn’t appear in any of them as anything.

Moving on.

Star Trek: It’s A Wonderful Temporal Anomoly

Kirk is despondent because his uncle Scotty lost track of a big bag of dilithium. Without that, Starfleet will foreclose on the Enterprise and the five-year voyage will end after the third year. He decides to throw himself off the bridge.

A friendly angel—well, the Squire of Gothos—shows up to help Kirk by showing him what his life would be like had he not been there. They travel back through Kirks’ timeline and find out that Edith Keeler would have lived as would countless redshirts. They further discover that Kirk has spent most of his time getting his crew out of trouble that he got them into in the first place.

By mutual agreement, Kirk and the Squire decide that Kirk has no place on the bridge, the dilithium is never found and Starfleet shuts down the mission two years early.

The only highlight of the show is the inexplicable bit in the middle when Harvey Korman appears as a cross-dressing intergalactic TV chef.

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And there you have it. What holiday specials would YOU like to see made?

Kevin Cummings

Kevin Cummings

Staff Writer at Area of Effect
Kevin has been the husband of one wife for more than thirty years and the dad of two sons for not quite that long. A geek from birth, he grew up with the original Star Trek and Star Wars and enjoys finding expressions of God’s love in the worlds of fandom.
Kevin Cummings

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